Stage Plays by Ian Hornby


Courtsey Appleby Frodingham Theatrical Society

Courtsey Potterspury Players

 

Hello, Is There Any Body There?
Farce - single set - 4m 5f

Synopsis
All is dull and peaceful at Squire Grange. Lady Amelia searches for new ideas for her latest mystery novel as Sir Malcolm sleeps off the excesses of another idle day. Family friend Freddy is persuaded to try and think of new ideas. Meanwhile the hapless Vic Tim arrives and is promptly dispatched by an unknown assailant. Everyone tries hard to discover the murderer before he or she can strike again. The first problem, however, is how to get rid of Vic's body, not just because he is making an untidy mess on the stage, but also because he has to come back in ACT II as a policeman! Smalls, the butler, and Mabel, the maid, try to assist the inept police (and Sir Malcolm attempts to give the delicious WPC Nunnall a hand too) but not in time to prevent the Producer being murdered. There is even a suspicion that someone may have poisoned the audience. Eventually Miss Marbles arrives to reveal, Agatha Christie-style, the culprit, who also happens to be the play's prompt. Or is there another culprit? This hilarious farce steadfastly refuses to take itself (or anything else) seriously.

 

Character Lines
Lady Amelia Simpson-Squire a novelist

259

Sir Malcolm Simpson-Squire her husband

286

Freddy a family friend

141

Mabel maid  & cook

110

Detective Inspector Dianne Sides

217

Vic/DC Fickey victim/policeman

199

Eve Nunnall a glamorous WPC

61

Smalls the butler

92

Miss Marbles *Miss Marple"

69

Prompt

17


Author's notes
This is my most popular play by some considerable margin, and is great fun for the cast as well as the audience. It's probably not quite like anything you've ever seen before, and the audience members can never be quite certain whether they're actually in the play or not. Every part has plenty of meat for the actors, the part of Vic being the part-I'd-most-like-to-have-played-but-never-got-the-chance. I've probably seen it performed getting on for 100 times now, and each group brings something new and interesting to it.

That's probably what made me want to write a second in the series, "Are You Sure There's No Body There?" and be planning another, set in France and called "Allo, Allo, Allo, Est There Any Body La?"

 

"The plot is hilarious and every praise must be given to the 10 actors who brought it to life and had the audience in fits of laughter or groaning after hearing some of the corniest jokes ever." This is Dorset, in a review of the production by the Spetisbury Occasional Dramatic Society.

     

Courtesy Bridgewater Players, Warrington

 

Courtsey Chelsfield Players

 

 

Courtsey Chelsfield Players

Courtsey Chelsfield Players

Courtsey Potterspury Players

Courtsey Chelsfield Players

Courtsey Chelsfield Players

Courtsey Penistone Theatre Group
Courtsey Penistone Theatre Group

Courtsey Penistone Theatre Group

Courtsey Westoning Players
Courtsey Willerby Methodist DG

Courtsey Willerby Methodist DG

Courtsey Willerby Methodist DG

Courtesy Spetisborough Occasional Dramatic Society (SODS)
Courtesy Spetisborough Occasional Dramatic Society (SODS)

Courtsey Willerby Methodist DG

Courtesy Spetisborough Occasional Dramatic Society (SODS)
Courtesy Spetisborough Occasional Dramatic Society (SODS)

Courtesy Spetisborough Occasional Dramatic Society (SODS)

 

Courtsey Warsash Theatre Club